This is the fifth of twenty-five blog posts to celebrate my twenty-fifth published novel, A Skye Full of Stars. As it’s Halloween, I thought I’d tell an anecdote about a time I was called scary…
I was at a party, and a man told me that I’m scary.
Not just that he finds me scary, but that ‘all men do’! I said, ‘Fancy you being the only one who’s brave enough to tell me.’
But I thought about it, afterwards, and wondered why a 49-year-old man, 6’4″, sound of body, would say that. Does he genuinely find me scary? Did he think it was an amazingly witty thing to say? Did he think I’d like to consider this guy, more than a foot taller than me, scared of me? Did he think it would put him in a good light, in some mysterious way? (It doesn’t.)
I asked the question on Facebook and received an interesting selection of replies. All from women. Out of twenty women:
- Nine said that they have been told they’re scary, too. Wow! Working on that sample set, nearly half of us are considered scary. Now that’s scary.
- Seven were scathing of a man who’d say it. (So, guys, it isn’t a good chat up line.)
- Two said that I’m not scary, I’m supportive and assertive (thanks!).
- One said I’m terrifying. (Hmm. Thanks.)
- Two thought it was plain rude/rubbish.
And just about everyone interpreted ‘scary’ as a strong/confident woman. I’m not going to go all coy and say, ‘Who? Me?’ And I don’t see why I should. All kinds of less admirable traits like impatience and impetuousness, go with it, of course, but yes, basically, I’m a confident, outgoing woman.
So, what I’d really like to know is: does that make me scary?
WHY?
And please do tell me. I won’t bite. 🙂
